Friday, November 11, 2016


When we lost our first sweet baby and I began this blog I believed that God had good plans for our family. I was heartbroken and mourning and trying to grasp the hope I said I put my faith in, but I really did believe that one day Matt and I would be parents. It wasn't my timing and aside from the sheer grief of losing our sweet tiny one, the medical situation we were in was one of those complicated, 1 in 100,000 kind of things, and we had to wait a year before we could even try for another little. If you didn't know us then and want to read more about that journey I've linked the first post on this blog here-grace for the moment

That season was the most difficult and painful of our lives thus far. Dreaming about being a mama, what I had always wanted to be, had become scary and heavy. I would tiptoe into thoughts of joy when thinking about our future family, and then fear would return and I would sink back into the weightiness of the current situation we found ourselves in. God had a plan and I believed in my head it was good, but my heart felt otherwise and I was hanging by a thread in hopes of a sweet baby to call me mama here on earth.

The months passed slowly but finally we were told we could begin trying for another little love. I had one last round of blood work to confirm that we were ready to roll and received a phone call a few days later that shook us once again. I saw my doctor a week later and he informed us that looking at my results it appeared that it was extremely unlikely that I would be able to get pregnant on my own without medical intervention. We left the appointment discouraged and frustrated, with instructions to call the doctor back in a few weeks to begin medication.

After the initial heaviness of the news passed I began to pray. I had this new fervency in believing that God could do this. I prayed that He would allow us to get pregnant that month, in that in between time where I "couldn't get pregnant." I prayed that He would give us a sweet, healthy, little one to love on this earth. I prayed that He would do it, and He did.

We found out we were pregnant a few weeks later. That day was full of joy and fear, as the thought of loving and potentially losing again was heavy and hard. I began praying, asking God to give me something to cling to, something to go back to during this pregnancy to remind me of my hope in Him and His good plan.  A dear friend, who had no idea I was pregnant sent me this verse that day and it has been our verse for our sweet girl ever since. "May the God of HOPE, fill you with all JOY and PEACE in believing, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may ABOUND IN HOPE"- Romans 15:13. God was meeting us in each moment again and again, showing His love, His power, and His heart for His children.

I called the doctor a few days later and they could not believe it. I had to be monitored extremely closely for a few months but every single time we went in our sweet baby was growing and thriving. Fast forward a few months and we found out our little love was our sweet tiny girl, healthy and active. When I began to feel her move, she moved constantly, the absolute greatest gift to me, the anxious mama. Her pregnancy had not a single complication and her delivery even more miraculous.

We were set to be induced on her due date, and the day before at my check up our doctor had some new concerns. Our sweet girl was no longer where she needed to be and discussions of a cesarian were had. We left the office and were at the hospital a few hours later and the induction went as smooth as it could have possibly gone. Zero complications, quick and "easy" labor, and our precious girl arrived early afternoon on her due date, November 19th, 2015.

Ella Reese has been a pure joy from day one. She truly is the most delightful little lady, waving and giggling and smiling at all she meets. She is expressive in every emotion and feels everything she feels so big. She is beautiful and loving and our precious precious daughter. We adore this sweet girl and are so incredibly thankful she is ours.

God has been so faithful in the life of our family. We have two sweet babies, one of which we will hold and love on one day, and one beautiful reminder of God's sweetness and sovereignty here on this Earth. He is still a God who does things we believe can't be done, and gives good gifts to His children. Thank you Jesus for our sweet daughter- Your daughter who you have given us the sweet gift and privilege of raising and loving.

Happy first birthday our sweet Ellie girl! You are truly more loved than you will ever know!